The Importance Of Loving Others Well

The people around us, are usually the most important people in our lives. They often mean everything to us. 

We cherish their personalities, their quirks, we want the best for them, and wish them the best in life.

We love them. 

But do we love them like we should? 

Do we love them, like they need to be loved? 

There has been people in my life, that I have not loved well. People I love dearly, but was not there for when they needed it.

Sometimes we are so caught up in our own heads, and our own problems, we don't even see the hurt that others are experiencing. We miss it sometimes.

I missed it.

In my case, I wasn't focused on loving someone like they needed it. They needed someone to listen to them. Someone to ask them how they were doing. Someone to be there for them, and it wasn't me. I wasn't there for them enough times when they probably needed me. I was too focused on me. A close relationship was able to slip away right from under me, and I didn't notice.

By the time I did, I couldn't reach them like I would have been able to. Sometimes people can choose slip away, yes. But I feel, if they were more confident that the people around them were there for them, I don't know if things would have played out like they did.

I was just preoccupied with my own problems, and didn't have enough room for theirs. It's not blame and guilt I feel so much now, as just disappointment of the way it happened.

I learned the importance of being there for others.

And the consequences of when you're not. 

It's easy to get distracted by our day to day routine, our problems, and to be overly tuned into the world from our perspective. But we need to care for those around us. Our family, our friends.

I feel as Christians, it's our duty to love others. To reflect that love of Christ.

Are we really loving others, and loving them like they need to be loved? And if it is our duty, shouldn't we do that really well?  

1. What does 'loving others' look like?

I feel as if loving those around us well, means being invested in them. Carrying each other's burdens. Paying attention to their struggles, and giving them the truth when they need to hear it. Listening and being patient when they share those struggles. If they share them.

It's being there for them.

It's being that someone they can lean on. 

But unfortunately, with this day and age, we are so self obsessed, and overly focused on taking care of ourselves.

But we should be focused, and invested in others more.

When you're that person who needs love, knowing that other people care for you, and are there to help you through, can mean the world.

2. What happens when we are not there for others? 

Regardless of who we are, there will be times in our lives when we will go through pain. That's a given. We become discouraged, afraid, unsure, annoyed, angry, or even depressed. Without talking to people about it, without dealing with those feelings, it all can become overwhelming too quick. Things pile on top of things, no matter how small, and we feel like we are alone.

And nothing can mess with your mind more, than feeling like you're alone.

It can be the beginning of such hurt, and such struggles.

Pain only magnifies in solitude. 

We reach out to things looking for some type of release. Some type of relief. Instead of people. We turn towards things, and not others. We don't deal with our issues, and we grow apart from those closest to us. We end up pulling away from the light, the very thing we need to run to. 

3. Why community is essential. 

We are not meant to be alone. We are not meant to feel disconnected. Afraid. Lost. We have each other for a reason. I feel like that is part of our duty as Christians, to love others. And love others well. We love, because He first loved us. We should have that perfected. And we should start with those closest to us. Too many are dealing with levels of depression, and anxiety. Too many of us are hurting. Feeling lost. Alone. Unloved. We will all have our good days and bad days, but we should assure them of the hope that is to be found. And that it is worth finding.

Reach out to people. You never know who is hurting. Who needs that love.

There is a quote that says, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

I say, "what fears, would go away if you knew you were loved?" And you were loved well?

So many of us are held back by things in life, because we fear we won't be accepted or loved by those around us. Or we feel like we will be misunderstood or judged for the things we are battling with inside. We all have things we are battling, and we all need someone to listen, someone who is invested in our lives who cares to help us work through them. And so many of us don't do that. We are not that person for others. 

I never would have guessed that person that grew apart from me was hurting. Was that me too self focused? Or a point to be made about never knowing what others are going through. 

Maybe both. 

Don't be so invested in yourself and your problems, that you forget about others, and their pain. just take a moment to lift up your head, and look around you.

Ask someone how their day is. Listen to someone, instead of always venting to them. We should have so much more room in our lives for others, than we do now.

Less self. Less me. Less I want. More of "what do you need?" 

It's doesn't have to be a crazy life change. It could be the simplest act of checking up on someone's state of mind when you know they've had a hard few weeks. Doing small acts of love to show them that someone is here along side them. Encouragement. Affirmation. We all need it. 

And as Christians, shouldn't we give it more? 

It could be something as simple as a text to your mother, letting her know you still love her. A phone call to your friend, checking to see how they are. Telling the ones you enjoy spending time with, that you enjoy their company, and appreciate them. Assuring those younger than you, that they matter, and they have something special to contribute to your family. Which they do.

Who do you need to love more? Who needs more of your time? Who are you forgetting about? 

I guess what I have learned is, how important it is to take care of those closest to us. To be invested in their lives, and their struggles. To really support them. To love them well. Because those we love most, can slip away, or be lost for a time. And they never come back the same. 

Because nothing can mess with someone more, like the feeling of being alone. 

Do we love others well? 

love,

toria.