Becoming Brave: Reflecting On Life 2017
If I could sit back for a second and think of one word that describes this year; it would be brave. When the year first started, I set an intention for myself to be braver. Normally, I am a shy soul. Relatively quiet, and a little bit serious, I often let my shyness get the better of me. I tend to be too quiet, and too serious. But this year, things have changed. With some major reflecting, and diving deeper into my relationship with Christ, I decided that this year, 2017 would be the year I was brave.
B R A V E.
The word that I came to memorize. The word that I decided to embrace. The word that I have said to myself over, and over again in situations where I felt uncomfortable. The word I would write on every notebook, sticky-note, journal, and 'to-do' list -to constantly remind myself of who I wanted to be.
When I look back on this year, I can see the mental milestones I have overcome. Milestones I thought would be harder when they actually turned out to be. It's amazing what you can achieve when you place your faith in something bigger, and have a little bravery. When I think back on 2017, I see a lot of action, and a lot of change. In areas that were painful to change but necessary to do so.
I see moments of fear, where trust was eventually put into practice. I see heartache. I see such joy. I can see the gratitude, and all the many, many ways in which Jesus has been overly good, to me. 2017 was definitely a year. And I tip my hat to it's parting. There has been a lot of good memories and a lot of good things that I need to mention.
I embraced a new community of wonderful and incredible people who love God and are devoted to being real with themselves, God, and others.
I made some serious adult purchases this year that I have been putting off. Hello new car.
After a year and a half of training, I became a certified birth doula, and have since then been working alongside other doulas, and supporting so many lovely women in my community.
One of my best friends (whom I love dearly) married an amazing guy, and I stood beside her and watched her promise her life.
In summer I was lucky enough to travel overseas, back to a place I thought I'd never see again, and in those ten days there I learned more about the power that lies in people than I ever thought I would.
I started pursuing my education again in a field I never knew I could be so passionate in.
And then there is this. . .
Maybe my biggest hurdle. My biggest silly mountain I overcame. My biggest 'thing' that I am amazed I had the courage to tackle. I started a blog. A silly ol' blog. About life, and about things that I have learned. And about finding the ways to really embrace and overcome those things. When I think about it, I can't believe I did this. Sometimes I feel quite dumb. I think people will think "oh everyone has 'a blog' who does she think she is? Why would someone want to write about this stuff anyway?" But that is the thing. I do not write, to write simply 'write about random stuff.' I write, because I want others to gain something from it. Believe me, I hate 'promoting' myself, and even saying to others that I am a blogger. But if I do not, how can anyone gain anything from this? I know I could have used someone's honesty when I was younger. I could have used someone's help. Someone's vulnerability.
There is also an incredible amount of healing when being open. Honest. And a little vulnerable from time to time. That is why I blog.
My main point of talking about all of this, the milestones, the accomplishments, and all of the reflection, is because I can only look at all of things I was able to overcome this year, and just think of the people who helped me get there. The people who helped me grow. I can humbly say I would not be anything of who I am, now, if it was not for their love. I was afraid to let anyone see any part of me, lest they see a piece of who I am, and make fun it. (I am aware of how petty, and shallow this can sound) But for most of my teen years, I let the shyness overtake opportunities that came my way, and ruled over my self-confidence.
But no more.
This year I promised myself I would be brave. And I can say that that word is now a friend of mine. Without it, I would not have fought as hard.
So for this coming year, 2018, I am committed to being myself fully. Without fear, without worry. I'm chasing after the things that challenge me, make me a better person, challenge my creative side, and my comfort zones.
2018 is the year to live like toria.
To live life fully, as I should. Choosing to be joyful, grateful, strong, and brave.
All photos by emilycolemanphotoghraphy.
*Now just to remember my word for this year, the word I needed my whole life. I need it to be brave enough to post this because, I am feeling a little hesitant-
ahh.
There it is,
B R A V E.
Do you have any New Year's Resolutions? What is one thing that you learned this year, and one thing you are committed to learning for the next?
I hope you all have the best and loveliest of Christmases.
love,
toria
