How to Be More Confident: ft Guest Blogger Hope Alexander

A little over a week ago, I had an amazing FaceTime call with such a sweet soul and fellow blogger. I have grown to love this girl's heart, and her courage that shines through each and everyone of her Instagram posts. I had asked her a while ago if she wanted to collaborate and make a post together where we would talk about self-confidence, bravery, and knowing your worth. I was so happy to find out that she was totally down for it, and a little over a week ago, we FaceTimed for about an hour talking and sharing ideas. In person, Hope is such a kind and caring soul, and was super sweet when going over all my questions. What an amazing heart she has! This girls wisdom and honesty was so refreshing, and honestly, I hope I you all connect with and follow her, because I feel as if I gained a new friend. 

Hope's blog is all about finding and connecting your spiritual strength with your physical strength. This girl can lift! haha. Her heart for Christ is as strong as her arms (hehe) and she is all about transparency and being real about your struggles. She's amazing. 

So, with the help of FaceTime and Instagram DM's, we've put together this post just for you.

I hope it resonates with you loves. 

xx

*Unintentional Dora the explorer hair. lmao

Let's chat C O N F I D E N C E.

Something that Hope said really stuck with me. "People don't like to admit that they are not confident." When I thought about this, I said "yeah, it's true." But when I really stopped and thought about it, I realized just how true this is. People are insecure about being insecure. We are all guilty of this. We like to have people think we are totally fine with who we are, and with what goes on in our lives. We would rather portray this false image of who we are, than to show others who we really are. 

And I get it. I wasn't always confident. Heck, I don't even think I am completely confident now. (Mmm, actually I'm definitely not. Lol) But, being sure of yourself and learning to be comfortable in your own skin is something I've really tried to focus on this, the past year. I've really pushed myself to step up, and to try things that I was always scared to try because I didn't think I could do them, and have been more open in relationships with those around me. Although I can say, I am much better now than I was a year ago, confidence is definitely something that is practiced, and will get better over time as you learn more about who you are, and where your worth comes from. 

Knowing your worth plays a major role in having more confidence, especially if you are a person of faith. Knowing where you worth comes from, is essential to being able to live your life more fully, and without so much self-doubt. At least for me, that is what allows me to be fully at peace with myself. You can click on the post link above, if you'd like to read more on knowing your worth, and how to recognize where it comes from. 

But back to confidence. Here are four main things to consider, if self-confidence is your target area of growth. 

1. What are you putting your confidence in right now? 

What you place your confidence in, is something you need to think about. If you are placing your confidence in your job, your talents, your finances, your house, car, you will have confidence 'issues' because those things are constantly changing. They can be taken, or broken in a split second. When we place our confidence in things that are changing, our confidence will change. It is only when we place our confidence in Christ's love, when we can be fully secure in who we are, because we know that does not change. His love so much greater and deeper than we can comprehend. It is worth counting on. It is strong enough to lean on, and to trust in fully. So let it lead you. 

2. You can put your confidence in Christ, when you know your worth to Him. 

The reason why you can place your confidence and trust in Christ, is because you are worth so much to Him. We should remember what he did, and the price he paid for us. When we do, we are so filled gratefulness and peace. We are motivated to love others better. We are happier. And this truth should be the foundation of the unshakable core you are trying to build within yourself. Listen to me, 

You mean something to God. 

You mean so much, that His son died in your place, so you could be with Him forever in eternity. Like, woah.. Talk about being valued. Loved. Cherished. Worth it. That should bring us such joy and such gratitude. It should bring us confidence. Because we know we are fully loved and accepted already. And I know this is something that we should all be reminded of, because we can so easily be wrapped up in what other people think of us, and if they accept us or not.  

To remind myself of my worth in Christ, and the confidence I can have in him, I wrote these words down on a bookmark recently, and I read them over, and over until I refocus my thoughts. They're simple, but they pack a punch if you're in a situation where you need some refocusing. 

"You are important. You have a unique purpose. You are loved by your family, you are loved by God, and that does not change. And because of that, today, toria, you will love others well."

That was my mantra. My jumble of words I would say to myself when I felt like I didn't have a reason to be confident. When in fact, the truth was I had every reason to be confident. If I only would stop, and remember.

I have every reason to be fully confident in who I am. In how God made me. In the things I am good at. In my goofiness, and my silliness. In my obsession with things that could be felt -words, music, dance, and art. And even in my weaknesses, my faults, and my shortcomings. Because I know by His grace I can work on them to become a better version of me. I can be confident in the middle of working through all of that. 

And so can you. 

3. Why should you learn to be more confident? 

One of the biggest reasons to become more confident in who you are, is because when you are, you L I V E life more fully. You are happier. You can stop worrying and stressing about the small things, and about what other people think. You can achieve what you were meant to achieve, and can truly live life more freely. There will be so much more room in your days to love others better, and lift them up more. Because you won't be so overly worried about yourself. It's a good feeling to know you can go about your day, about your life, and know where you stand. To know your worth. And to have confidence in that. 

4. What steps can you take to become more confident? 

Here is where the bravery needs to come in, and dear, you're going to need a lot of it. In order to become more confident, you're going to need to be brave. This is one of those things where you need to have one, to start the other. You're going to need a little bravery to start acting on the things you want to do. It's one thing to feel confident, but it is another to live confidently. Maybe there is something you want to do that you've never tried before. You might need to take a few steps that require a little bravery. Especially if you are a little like me, and tend to be shy when it comes to life, (passion and creativity usually override my shyness in most cases) but sometimes I let my own fear override everything. But what do I have to fear? Rejection? Failure? 

Even if those things do happen, I have nothing to be afraid of when it comes to rejection, and even failing (yes, even that) because I know at the end of the day, I am already accepted fully, loved completely, and those things do not change. All I can do is try my absolute best, work hard, and be passionate about the things I love. All the rest -people's negative thoughts, actions, opinions- once said and done won't really matter. It is only dust in the wind. 

Because deep down I know, I'm good. 

Deep down, I know I am loved. Accepted. Valued. 

Learning to be confident is something that has changed me. It is definitely not easy, and it is something you must put into practice daily. But important? 

So much so, my friends. 

because it's C H A N G E D me for the better. 

Do you need to be more confident? Read Hope's post on this topic here, "The Road to Confidence" and give her a follow on Instagram or Facebook. I thank the Lord for this gal, and her transparency and vulnerability. It has helped so many girls, (me included) and I know she will accomplish some great things in this life. Collaborating with her was an absolute pleasure, and I want to thank her so much for her kindness, and generosity when writing with me. 

Did this post resonate with you? Leave a comment down below, DM me in instagram, or shoot me an email at liketoria@gmail.com, to share your story. I'd love to be there for you. 

Also, a HUGE thank you to my wonderful sister @emilycolemanphotography for so effortlessly capturing this beautiful photos. She was able to make this goofball model like a pro!! *Go em! 

Much love to you guys, and I hope you have the best weekend. 

love, 

toria.