Navigating Your Passions: Feeling Vulnerable

Everyone can probably recall a time in their life, when they didn't believe in themselves.

We all have felt this way at one point or another. Thinking back, there was a time when I not only didn't believe in myself, I didn't think I had a chance at anything at all. I didn't think I had a 'chance' at actually discovering what I liked to do, what I was good at, or what I was passionate about.

I thought, I would be lucky to just get by with a half decent job, family, a few friends, and almost go unnoticed by playing it 'safe' when it came to making choices. I didn't want anyone to notice me, I didn't want to stand out, or to have people know who I was. As time passed, I realized that playing it safe, when it came to living life in general will lead you away from your gifts. You'll end up unhappy, disoriented, and just sad to be quite honest. 

Sometimes when we are navigating our way through life, we can feel uncertain about our ourselves. Our future. What to pursue. What our passions are. What we should invest ourselves in?

And as cheesy as that sounds, it can be a difficult thing to unravel. Especially as a young adult.  

Finding out who we are or what we like to do at the core, can be difficult. And during that process you can feel open for judgement, afraid. Vulnerable. 

Vulnerability is something I've have been trying to get over the past few years. To me, it is putting yourself out there, letting your weaknesses be seen, and showing a side of yourself that is honest, knowing others will see you at your core.

In some cases, it's being brave and real in areas, that you know you're weak in.    

And I still struggle with that feeling of vulnerability.  

But in order to try new things, and to do what you love, you need it.

It wasn't until I was real, and was honest with myself until I found out what it is, that like to do. And it wasn't until I was willing to be vulnerable until I started to act on those things. And for me, that was the key.  

So here you might be asking, "What are my passions? How can I know what to do for me?" Here is a way I broke it down for you.  

1. How do we know what we should pursue? 

Why is finding out what you like to do so difficult? Entering young adulthood, I felt like there was so much pressure from everywhere telling me what I should or shouldn't do. There was this pressure to gain as much knowledge as you can, to 'make it big' in life. There was so many different paths I could take, that would all turn me into a different person. I felt so disoriented, and didn't know who I was. There was this deep fear of disappointment to others, and this worry of "what if I'm not good at anything?" "what if I'll never live up to their expectations?" or "what if I can't be the person they want me to be?"

Maybe that's you. And you don't know where to start, or what to do. 

Think about this. What makes you so happy, you can't help but burst with joy. What motivates you to smile, to be content or feel alive? What do you think about everyday without fail? What does your mind wander to? 

Those are your talents, and your gifts. That is what you should pursue. Those things are unique and special to you. 

At the same time, this is a hard question to answer. I definitely didn't know 'off the bat.' It took lots of journaling, trying new things, talking with others. You'll have to have some patience with yourself, and be willing to try new things, and listen to others advice. 

But ultimately this is something you'll have to decide on your own.

One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was from confidence coach, author, and blogger Trish Blackwell, who said something like this - Write down what you're drawn to. Even if it doesn't make sense. Write down whatever you like, without judgement and study that. Think about why you like it. What makes it special for you? And from there, take the small steps in doing more of that. 

2. Know that it takes time, and eventually it will take vulnerability.

This is so important. Sometimes finding out those things we love to do, or actively exercising new things, can feel weird.

But I'm here to say, do them anyway. It might take a while. But even if you feel unsure, If you never try, you'll never know. Keep doing the things you love, and listen to others, who more often than not can see our talents, and things about ourself that we can't see.  

This can also be hard too. With the perceived judgement of others, the opinions of family members. The questions from friends. It can be overwhelming, but sometimes, it is very necessary to keep you in check. There is a system of balance from your family and friends, and it's there for a reason. So be willing to listen, but be willing to give yourself a chance too. 

3. What if I just don't believe in myself?

Like said before, give yourself a chance. Don't worry, just start. If you have to rely on others belief in you, rely on that. The more time you invest in yourself and your talents, the more your confidence will grow. What really helped me is investing my time in people who care about you, who can encourage you. Whether that be a friend, or a coach, getting that constant reassurance about who you are, and what you can achieve. 

I know I already mentioned her once, but let me just do it one more time- She is the best for confidence, encouragement, and tips on believing in yourself. 

 http://www.trishblackwell.com/

At times, I still struggle with believing in myself. I think everyone does. But it's so important to push past that. If you don't have at least a little belief in yourself, you won't get anywhere.

I found myself running in a circle, frustrated, feeling like I was behind, because I wasn't pleasing others with the choices that I made, or didn't make.    

I thought that I wasn't 'doing enough', and the things that I had enjoyment for, were not being developed and cultivated to their full potential. I thought, "I'm not using anything God has given me." and that I missed my window, and lost my opportunities. 

But that is just the fear, that sets in when you don't believe in yourself. You don't always have to use all of your talents, and especially not all at once. Not all of them are made to be cultivated into big career choices. I think that God uses our talents and our gifts throughout our lifetime. So don't worry. And don't always believe the things your mind tells you when you're afraid. Just remember when you're trying out something new, or going after a passion of yours;

You're going to feel uncomfortable. Open for judgment. And vulnerable.

And that is okay. It really is. Just keep on going darling. 

Do the things you like. Listen to others, write down what you love. And try new things.

Give it a chance! 

And give it time.  

love,

toria