Do You Feel Behind in Life?

Do you feel behind in life? Like you should have 'started something' years ago, and never did?Maybe you feel like you're not doing anything with your life, because you're not doing what is expected of you? Or maybe, you feel like you can never live up to the expectations others have for you, because you 'missed your window' and failed at something everyone expected you to master?

With this day and age I feel like young adults especially, go through these feelings of failure and disappointment. We go through all this planning and all this preparing for our futures, but in reality, we are not able to live up to the expectations that society has for us.

The world we live in, makes us feel like we need to have everything figured out now. Whether it's with schooling or education, career choices, or basically any decision you've had to make as a young adult. There is so much pressure to make a plan that will set you up for 'success.' A plan that will make you lots of money, get you a good job. This is something I've ran into, and basically everyone I know, or have spoken to has experienced that worry of not wanting to 'be behind' or to 'make the wrong choice.'

We can't seem to be happy with what we are ultimately doing. Because we feel like it's not enough, or it's not as good as you could have done when we had to 'choose what we wanted to do.'

This is something I've experienced deeply. I felt behind, because I didn't start college when the rest of my graduating class did. I was feeling like I wasn't enough because I wasn't 'doing what everyone else was doing.' But as silly as that sounds, that really affected my confidence, and just ended up making me confused about if what I was actually doing was enough. (Or even worth it)

I've learned that not everything should be figured out and planned when you are so young. And everyone's expectations, don't always have to be your achievements.

Sometimes it takes a while to learn about yourself, and that is okay. Every individual, and every individual's life is different. We are all going to go through different things that shape us, and teach us.

Being a young adult, is probably the most unstable and an ever-changing of times in our whole lives.

But I'm here to tell you, feeling like you are behind, and actually being behind are not the same. You may just feel behind, because you're not doing what everyone expects you to, or the same thing as the person next to you. But that does not mean, you are in the wrong spot, and are late for your life.

Here are some things to assure you, you may not actually be behind. Listen up.

1. This part of life, is different for everyone.

Let's be real. It's hard to figure out what to do. What you like, and what you should do. Just don't feel pressured to know it all now. Some figure it out before college, or after college, some figure it out, out of college. Others, when working that temporary job, and being involved in things around them.

For some it may take years, for some it may only take months. Everyone can grow and learn about themselves, in different ways, and at different times. And if you are past your 'young adult years' and are still feeling confused. You are not dumb. There is nothing 'wrong with you.' Maybe you are just looking for the wrong things for fulfillment. Having a label, a degree, a chosen field, planned out path in life, doesn't always mean you are suddenly living your life the 'right way.'

When I graduated high school, everyone seemed to be so sure of what they wanted, and had a solid and respectable plan to stick to. Funny enough, most of those people didn't follow that plan. They chose something different in the end. And that is okay. It is

Here's a quick secret. A truth. You're not a horrible person if you change your plans.. Or even if you don't know any plans yet.

This stage in life, is one where we change, where we grow, and a stage that molds us into what type of people we will become. In college, or out of college. Moved out, or living with your parents, all that change and growth will happen. It just is not in the same way, for everyone. As long as you are still seeking your personal education, (not just college! learning and simply pursuing life!) working hard, opening yourself up to growth, helping others, loving those around you well, you are living a full life! And you are living life well. That is something you should be really proud of. Most people, hardly even get that far.

As young adults, it's hard to come up with a detailed plan we can stick to. We change our minds a lot! Because we are learning, experiences new things each day. We are still figuring out how to take care of ourselves, and how to be fully responsible. As long as you're seeking to improve yourself, and wanting to grow, and learn, you're on the right track! You're doing the hard work now. Better to go through this growth and self-discovery sooner, before you start tackling the bigger goals. I do think, it's good to try new things, and be emerged in new activities that challenge you, and to be in a place where you can find things that you love.

if you still feel like you don't know what you like, what you're good at, or how to discover your talents, read my post on-

"Navigating Your Passions: Feeling Vulnerable"

Th simple truth is, this time is going to be different for everybody. It really is. So just take a breath, calm down. Breathe. You are going to be okay dear.. you are.

2. You're not behind in life, if you're actively working on, and doing something you love.

This is most important thing to remember. Don't discredit what you are doing. Are you working on things you love to do? Are you growing? If the answer is yes, than you can't be 'behind.' All that time that you spend working on yourself, trying new things, and learning- that time is not wasted. That time was well spent figuring out what you needed to. Don't worry if you're still working towards your goal, when others seem to have reached it a long time ago. Everyone is faced with unique challenges, that make our journeys different from everyone else's.

If you're not actively working on anything, start! Try something new, and learn. And if you are working on something but hate it, why waste your time with something that you're not growing from? There are lots of ways you can get involved and try new things, without feeling like you're committed for life.

Try volunteering in the field you're interested in first.

Sign up for a 5-10 week course on your subject of choice.

Talk to others, and get involved in groups that practice what you like.

Give time and energy on those things, keep learning and you'll be moving forward a little bit each day.

Lastly,

3. Just don't compare, darling.

Comparison isn't only the thief of joy, it's the thief of self- worth. Just don't compare, darling. Don't feel like you have to do what everyone else is. We don't need to compare ourselves to other's achievements, other's talents, or other's 'positions in life.' This really is the root of our problem. We will automatically feel like we are not doing enough if we start to compare. So don't even go there.

One of my favorite quotes about comparison, is by Bob Goff.

"We won't be distracted by comparison if we are captivated by purpose."

If you feel like you are constantly comparing and leveling up yourself to others, this is something that really helped me. Listen to this during your morning routine, or when you need a pick me up. This is a Podcast episode of Confidence on the Go is by Trish Blackwell. It is an excellent listen for those learning how to focus on what you're doing, without being caught up in others approval.

Podcast Episode Title: "How to Run Your Own Race"

Another thing to remember. Even people who seem to have it all together, and are doing their 'dream job' don't always do have it all together. Know that they sometimes struggle too, have doubts, and sometimes wonder if they're on the right track. When there is pressure from society to be something more than you are, people can be put on a convincing show. We are not all meant to do the same thing, and success looks different on everybody.

Don't feel like there is an 'end goal' in life, and if you're not reaching that, you will never live your life right. Being liked by others is not an end goal. Getting academic education is not an end goal. Being married and having a family is not an end goal. Being 'successful' and making a lot of money is not an end goal, and it doesn't make you behind if you're not doing these things. Your worth doesn't come from if you can do these things or not. It comes such a deeper and more meaningful place.

You glorify God throughout your life, by following Him, and serving Him. That is your purpose. That is how you live your life well. None of those things above make you better than.

Or behind.

There is no race, or pattern of life that we must perfect.

There is only this life we have been given, and we must live that for God. And although we almost always do, let's not forget that. This time in life, is different for everyone. So don't compare. Give yourself credit for what you have already achieved.

You can't be behind in life if you're trying.

You're only behind if you're not.

love,

toria